I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
