the new term for farting is butt boxing.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
