Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
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