just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize