You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
