im six kinds of drunk right now
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
