We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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