I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
