Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
