i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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