So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
