i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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