I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
