I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
