fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
