Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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