I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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