Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
