On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
