That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
