I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
