Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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