yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
