Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize