i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
