so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
