can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she pinky promised me she was 18
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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