put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
