god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
