I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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