Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
