its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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