apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize