I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
