He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He has the fingertips of a God
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