so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize