Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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