Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
