his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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