i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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