I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
