I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
