He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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