Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
