it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
