somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
