Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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