I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Who wears a wallet chain?!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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