summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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