dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
false alarm, still single
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
