Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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