Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
