He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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