fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
