I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
