Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
