The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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