Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
